Tuesday, December 13, 2011

The dating game. (Sigh.)

Q: What's the big deal with dating? Can't I get to know someone by just spending a lot of time around them?

A: Yes, you can. But is that the smartest thing to do?

Dating isn't just about getting to know someone. It's a very potent preparation for something much bigger. Almost every skill in life that is worthwhile and difficult (ever notice how those two usually go together?) will require some sort of practice to get it right. Be it music, athletics, public speaking, even social skills. Marriage is the most important thing we will do in this life; why wouldn't we want to practice for it?

By pairing off in dating we prepare ourselves for the pairing off we'll do in marriage. It provides both the guy and the girl great opportunities to practice their various roles. He'll develop his abilities to preside, provide, and protect as he initiates, plans, and pays for the dates and makes sure that she has a safe, enjoyable time. She'll be able to increase her ability to nurture and support him by accepting his date proposals and encouraging him in his endeavors.

When the two are alone together they are better able to see other sides of each other. Different environments require different behaviors, and by engaging in socializing both in public and in private each party is better able to observe if the other has any of those "red flags," such as dual-mindedness or insincerity towards others.

How often do we overlook or even roll our eyes at dating? At the same time, how often to we really realize its importance? Remember the adage, "Practice makes perfect." But in reality, this statement is false in every aspect. Practice doesn't make perfect - practice makes permanent. Therefore, if we want a happy marriage, we had better practice in happy dating, and we had better do it right.

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